I've got my own way of doing things, of overcoming challenges. Even if I don't feel like it's the coolest or the best or even the most powerful, it's mine. At the risk of sounding cheesy... which sure, I am definitely cheesy sometimes but being genuine to what's inside of me is all I need.
Once upon a time (like a couple weeks ago) I deep cleaned my room until there were only a couple of piles of stuff on the floor, but those piles… sigh… I can’t really afford to have any piles on the floor as it blocks other areas that I need to access in order to keep my room clean, like the closet, or my dresser, or my computer desk, or my safe space under my bed. My room is about as large as I need it for every space to be essential, but if stuff starts to pile up on the ground, I can still move around it, so it isn’t like the end of the world, but it does still provide visual noise and a smaller physical space and I was so close! I wonder if I do finally get to that point where everything is in its place (even have a miscellaneous area for things I don’t know what to do with right away), I wonder if that would encourage better consistency. I know when I can access the closet without tripping over anything that I am more likely to hang my clothes up, and then they don’t get piled up and wrinkly…
Woodchips… pokey pokey – ping
I'm feeling very self conscious about what I have put out on social media so far. It's so.... cringe. I'm so cringe 😫
I fed ChatGPT a lot of my thoughts and feelings and then asked it to helped me put it together. This is the result:
The struggle right now for me is the pain of creation versus the joy of the created. But there’s also the joy of the journey that can help… but putting yourself out there also for other people to see is terrifying. And yeah, I’ve made lots of blog posts about this, but hardly anyone actually follows my content yet, so having all this rough stuff as my beginning stuff, will help me polish up the future work.
Well,I started a Patreon… let’s see how it goes. I’ve got things lined up to upload - well, some things... I’m going to post more. I’ve decided to do mostly free tier stuff first, but there is a paid tier for behind the scenes on books and stories that I’m writing because I don’t want to give too much away before I’m finished with it 😛
Future me,
I'm so frustrated with the way things are. With how we think about other people and how we separate into groups based on our identity AND use that as an excuse to other and discriminate.
I want to become a published author of many, many books, and own my own small public library. I want to build it from the ground up, and have a cute little cafe attached to it, as well. It's going to be a cozy little place, not overwhelming. The main community library can be the place for main research, mine will be a place of wonder and imagination. This is still several years out, but I'm on my way to learning all I need to know. I've applied for a Master's in Library Sciences, and so the journey continues.
You have a goal, you don't know how to reach that goal. It takes a lot of effort to work on this goal. It seems it will take forever to reach this goal... You are in the middle of feeling like it will never happen and maybe you should just give up because it's proving to be too difficult for you and no matter how hard you work it will never come true...
It's only been a week since I started on this story, and I've been really consistent about writing in it or at least exploring the story ideas and characters every day. I missed maybe one day, but that was semi on purpose since it was Sunday. Anyhow, I've run into my first state of writer's block...
