The struggle right now for me is the pain of creation versus the joy of the created. But there’s also the joy of the journey that can help… but putting yourself out there also for other people to see is terrifying. And yeah, I’ve made lots of blog posts about this, but hardly anyone actually follows my content yet, so having all this rough stuff as my beginning stuff, will help me polish up the future work.
Well,I started a Patreon… let’s see how it goes. I’ve got things lined up to upload - well, some things... I’m going to post more. I’ve decided to do mostly free tier stuff first, but there is a paid tier for behind the scenes on books and stories that I’m writing because I don’t want to give too much away before I’m finished with it 😛
Future me,
I'm so frustrated with the way things are. With how we think about other people and how we separate into groups based on our identity AND use that as an excuse to other and discriminate.
I want to become a published author of many, many books, and own my own small public library. I want to build it from the ground up, and have a cute little cafe attached to it, as well. It's going to be a cozy little place, not overwhelming. The main community library can be the place for main research, mine will be a place of wonder and imagination. This is still several years out, but I'm on my way to learning all I need to know. I've applied for a Master's in Library Sciences, and so the journey continues.
You have a goal, you don't know how to reach that goal. It takes a lot of effort to work on this goal. It seems it will take forever to reach this goal... You are in the middle of feeling like it will never happen and maybe you should just give up because it's proving to be too difficult for you and no matter how hard you work it will never come true...
It's only been a week since I started on this story, and I've been really consistent about writing in it or at least exploring the story ideas and characters every day. I missed maybe one day, but that was semi on purpose since it was Sunday. Anyhow, I've run into my first state of writer's block...
So, with all the craziness of feeling like I was running out of money, searching for a new job, getting a new roommate, and then finally getting the new job and starting with all the new things, my brain had no room to be creative. It had no energy to do so as all of the energy was spent elsewhere, just trying to survive.
Today, I had a day off from work. I've been working nearly every day, minus Sundays, for a couple of weeks, and it gets to be a little exhausting. I needed a break, so I was really grateful when my manager reached out and said I could have today off. I spent it mostly watching YouTube videos :PBut, I also used it for cleaning. I vacuumed the stairs, hallway, and my room. It was really great! I love the look and feel of freshly vacuumed carpet <3 I also folded and put away laundry (a task that needed to be done many weeks in a row, but hey, as long as they're clean, it's probably okay if they just sit in a pile for a bit...
I had a dream... I was wearing a large apple as a shirt near the end of it, and when I woke, my thoughts were, "That was weird." But then I kept thinking and went from apple shirt to fruit leather, and then leather for clothes... so fruit clothes, so what if fairies wore clothes made of fruit leather? but fruit leather is too sticky and wouldn't last and would be prone to attracting bugs and mold and stuff... so then I was thinking is there a way to preserve it to make it work?
I switched jobs, I now work for the post office. I'm a mailwoman now! That took a lot of effort to apply and get all the information in order and my background check and everything and then after I was hired, there was a two-week period for training. Don't get me wrong, I am really grateful for the training, it has helped me feel prepared for my job, I just also want to say it was tiring. I did it though! I'm ready for delivering mail and packages!
Thursday morning, I had an epiphany.
